" . . . and lean not on your own understanding . . "

On Thursday night, I was prompted to read Proverbs 3:5 to Justin and Cody as I tucked them in to bed for the last time. (They left Friday evening for a long-term home) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your path" has never been more real to me than when I was explaining it to these boys, who are very new Christians. We talked about the "not leaning on your own understanding part" the most. Since then, I have pondered, have I really truly had to trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding as much as those boys have to right now? I've been through some rough times in my life, but I've always had other people I could trust in and lean on. They have no one. No. one. When I said to them that they probably do have a hard time understanding a lot that is going on in their life right now, they chimed in with, "Yeah, we don't know what's going on with our family." I spent a difficult 45 minutes listening in on a "family planning meeting" a few days before they left, which was very enlightening. I won't share details, but bottom line is please be praying for their mom. She is not really heading down a path to getting them back any time soon, if at all. Normally, I'm pretty judgmental of "these birth moms" that I hear about, and I'm a big advocate of doing whatever is in the best interest of the kids, even if that means being pretty rough on the moms. But I couldn't help but feel badly for her as I listened in on the conversation. She needs help. She needs Jesus. I was wracking my brain trying to think of who I know who could help her, how I could help her . . . but never came up with anything. I'll pray.

Back to the boys . . the last two nights with them were emotional, way more than it was with Darius. Darius had a weird last weekend with us, as he just didn't know quite what to do with the anxiety he was feeling. When I brought him to his new home, he was clingy to my leg for about 2 minutes, then ran off to play with his new foster siblings, barely saying good-bye to me when I left. I think most of that was a defense mechanism (or so I like to reassure myself!) :) Cody and Justin were a different story, though. Wednesday night, Jeremy tucked them in and showed them how to use the Bibles we had gotten for them earlier in the week. He left them to read for 20 minutes before we would turn the lights off. I went in there shortly after he left to say goodnight myself. This was the conversation between Cody and me:
Cody: So, this is our last night here?
Me: No, you'll be here tomorrow night, too.
Cody: But we won't see Jeremy?
Me: No, hon, he'll be here . . . he just will be at youth group tomorrow night, so he won't be able to tuck you in.
Cody: So, that was last time we'll get tucked in by him?
Me: Yeah, but i'll tuck you in tomorrow night. (Pause, as I watch him tear up). You like Jeremy a lot, huh?
Cody just nodded his head quietly, as I kissed it and had to walk out . . . there was nothing i could say, and I was about to start bawling myself!

Thursday night was my emotional night with them, when I shared Proverbs 3:5 and then prayed with them, my voice cracking as I did. I think it was harder with these two because they are older and they are starting to understand more. Honestly, I think the hardest part for them, especially Cody, was leaving Jeremy. They are going to be with a single woman . .. they are used to living with women only . . first their mom, then their aunt . . . but I think they really appreciated having a dad for a short month and understand what they'll be missing.

Ok, no more tears . . . now onto more the more happy side of this . . I was going to write this on Thursday night, but I just didn't have the energy then. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because I can update on how they're doing in their new home.

Their new mom, Nicole, brought them by this afternoon for about 20 minutes to get the rest of the stuff that wasn't able to fit in the car the other night. We found out that she is a Christian, which we weren't sure about at first . . .huge praise! She seems really great . . she works full time, so the boys will be in some daycare before and after school, but they'll be fine with that, as they love other kids. It makes me feel good that she is well established herself in her job and home and stuff . . . she is definitely NOT doing this for money or anything, but just for a love of kids. These two are her first foster kids, and she is so excited to have them. Already, she took them to the Skatepark, to Walmart to get new clothes, and to a hockey game last night with her family. But, two things that she said made my day more than that: 1. I gave them a small photo album with pictures of their month here, especially with Clara, and I included some Bible verses and a letter to them in it. She said that they have already looked at it several times, including when they first woke up this morning before getting out of bed. 2. When she was tucking them into bed the first night, as she was walking out, Cody asked, "aren't you going to pray with us?" She said she was thrilled that they already wanted to do that.

I don't think my heart could be any happier about how it went with those two boys this month. They will be not be easily forgotten in the Lebow house, that's for sure.